The Shaman can't become a Hero

Act 4: Two-Headed Hound

Chapter 34: Everyday Conversations between Highschool Boys

“Momokawa dude, that’s, just mana exhaustion right?”

Says Hirano-kun with an exasperatedly wry face.

“So that, kind of thing really happens...”

In the middle of producing the life-sized Mud Doll, I suddenly lost conscience and collapsed. I don’t remember the moments around when that happened, but according to Futaba-san, that seems to be the case.

According to Nishiyama-san, Futaba-san rushed into the Fairy Square with me in a Princess Carry with such a fierce glare that the two of them unconsciously grabbed their weapons or something or other.

Anywho, those two who were familiar with the concept of Mana Exhaustion, right away recognized my symptoms to be pertaining to that, and thus let me sleep.

Mana exhaustion, just as the words describe, it’s a state where the mana in the body is depleted, otherwise said, a state of starvation. I don’t know how much of this mana, this veritable fantasy energy, is amassed inside our bodies, but anyway, Magic and Curses seem to expend it when invoked.

At least, as a Mage, Nishiyama-san has a feel for it. Apparently, she had once gotten carried away, and used Aer Sagitta so much, she fell into symptoms indicating mana exhaustion; she has first hand experience.

Of course, she hasn’t done something like me, instantly draining all mana and suddenly fainting... But anyway, my collapsing was caused by that. My mana was apparently not nearly enough to activate a life-sized Mud Doll.

“Then how do we increase this MP thing anyway”

“That’s like, you just gotta keep fighting as a Mage, and it’ll go up eventually?”

Hirano-kun replies stating the general theory. I guess it’s like stamina after all, you train yourself and get more.

“Yeah, Nishiyama can shoot more than she could way back when, so the levelups are real man”

I’m increasingly thankful for Nishiyama-san’s experience as a Mage.

“Anyway, just take a breather for now. The mana’ll recover eventually and ya’ll be as good as new”

“Thanks. Sorry, I’ll be taking up that offer then”

“It’s fine, we’ere thinkin’ to take a nap before challenging the Boss anyway. Look, it’s right around midnight right now”

Hirano-kun told me with a glance at the G-Shock around his left wrist. Where a smartphone would run out of battery in no time, a wrist watch can be used to tell time for a long time. A clock sure is convenient. [1]

(TN: G-shock. )

“Momokawa-kun, the food’s done”

Let’s get back to bed I guess, I thought lazily, when Futaba-san’s voice came from the other side of the fountain.

Eh, Ah, that yeah”

Thanks, I said, but I had a slightly bad feeling about this.

After I woke up, Futaba-san and I celebrated my return to good health. After that, she cheerfully started making food.

I had the lighter collected from Takashima-kun, so making a fire went without issue. I’ve been hearing the crackling snaps of open fire for the past while.

Then, floated in the savoury scent of meat. Frankly, it smells great. For a while, we’ve been making like squirrels, dinner being walnuts and walnuts only, so this smell really tickles the taste buds.

No wait, please wait. Amongst our belongings, things like spare ribs, bacon strips, or sausages, we had none of those. Just what kind of highschooler would be carrying around raw meat anyway.

But then, the delicious meat that Futaba-san is roasting, just where did it...

“Here, this is the juiciest portion. Eat this, and you’ll be golden!”

With an almost dazzling smile of a caring mother, Futaba-san presents a piping hot lump of meat that gave an impression of broiled eel. With a large Fairy Walnut leaf garnished on top, a truly savage-feeling dish.

“T-Thanks...”

Gulp, I swallow my spit. This isn’t in anticipation of the cuisine. It’s from the stress.

“I only had salt for seasoning, but I’m sure it’s cooked nice and deep”

You sure about that? No really, this otherworld snake, how the hell do you cook it nice and deep!

That’s right, this meat is that snake we caught in the place with the Great Frog’s lake. I clearly remember how Futaba-san fluently drained its blood and secured this important source of protein like a practiced hunter.

That very thing has, right now, become a dish and served to me. The spicing used: otherworld rock salt.

The pair of provided chopsticks, which are probably from Futaba-san’s lunchbox, I take them in hand, and decide to accept the meal. I can’t betray Futaba-san’s good will. In front of that smile, I didn’t have the courage to reject this food without even a bite.

Peeking to the side, I see the drawn away expressions of the Hirano-Nishiyama couple. Those two, should be aware of the origins of the meat I’m about to introduce to my tongue.

Can’t expect reenrolments. Let’s get ready, and give this snake meat a taste shall we? To hell with poison, I’ll eat it plate and all.

“I, I’m digging in!”

Like a man, I roughly bite into the broiled flesh pinched between the chopsticks.

“!? delicious—”




After a modest supper, the four of us decided to retire for the day. The Fairy Square is safe, so lucky for us, there’s no reason to go out of our way to keep watch. Us being only students, staying up in alternating shifts wouldn’t fully dispel our fatigue from the day.

“Hey, Momokawa. Snake meat, is pretty good huh”

“Yeah, if only I knew, we should’ve caught some more”

Languidly lying on the soft grass, I exchange words with Hirano-kun.

Being well into adolescence, we can’t just snuggle up four together, so the sleeping area is divided between the sexes centering around the fountain. You can’t see the other side without circling over. Furthermore, at a distance where the other side wouldn’t hear conversations unless you shout.

“You gotta to tell us when ya find other things we can eat. Urr, Intuition Pharmacy right?”

“Sure thing. But, it wouldn’t have tasted as good if you guys didn’t have the Goma rock salts”

This is completely a miss on my end, but actually, among the Gomas’ possessions there certainly existed clumps of rock salt. For the Goma warriors hunting in the dungeon, it could be called a necessity as, thought dirtied, most of them carried rock salts on their person.

That this would become a source of minerals lacking in Fairy Walnuts, was a piece of information made available in the now deceased Itou-kun’s text message info quite early on. Those survival essentials type info, give it to all of us dammit, I quietly curse the kingdom’s incompetence.

“By the way, I kinda wanna ask, that alright?”

Eh, what’s up, all of a sudden”

Suddenly, Hirano-kun drew in his face close and asked. This behaviour, looks like the talk is on the hush.

“Did ya, seal the deal with Futaba-san already?”

“... Eh

This question, I wasn’t pure enough, nor was I failing so hard in health education class, so as I wouldn’t understand.

“W-wha-what’re you saying man... That kind of, of course not”

Oh, that reaction’s prettty fishy, you guys actually done it once didn’cha?”

“We didn’t dammit!”

hmm~, he displayed a slightly lecherous smile, and ended his inquisition for now.

“Like, what’s with that all of a sudden”

“Man, just curious y’know?”

I suppose it’s like that. But that doesn’t mean, you gotta lay it on so straight. Well, I mean, since it’s just us guys here, I guess I’ll ask.

“What about Hirano-kun then. Erm, that, with Nishiyama-san”

Heheh, well, y’know, we like... yup”

“No way!?”

“Too loud dumbass”

So my suspicions, were spot-on.

“Eh, so, you guys’re dating now?”

“Yeaah, guess it’s like that”

A kind of boastful, embarrassed grin. But there, there’s also the hint of flaunting of someone who has graduated from his virginity and become a full-fledged man.

“No but seriously, when Itou died, me and her, we took it pretty damn hard”

“Yeah, that’s like, I kinda get how it’d go into that flow from there”

“N-No like, it wasn’t just on the spur a’ight. I’m, pretty serious about her”

Well well, I’ll leave it at that. Quite the love birds these two.

“Aren’t we, intruding?”

“Not at all man. Just us two, we couldn’t beat that Boss after all.”

“I’m glad we didn’t suddenly pop up in the middle of fun”

L’il bastard, Hirano-kun poked at me. That hurts man. At least wipe off the pervy look.

“What about you then. Never feel like doin’ it?”

Eh, I, I well... don’t...”

But then, I end up replying in a way that screams I’m only thinking of that. Knew it, Hirano-kun snickered “Heheh”.

“Well, Futaba-san’s got those huge jugs. I feel you bro”

“Yeah, that’s... yeah, it’s that”

“’ll be crazy if y’can get with her, Momokawa. Can’t really put it between Nishiyama’s, I’m so jealous man”

Delusions churning full-throttle, but for men, this is only natural. Therefore, I cannot criticize Hirano-kun as vulgar. Sorry dude, but I’ve been fantasizing at levels of fetishism far more profound than yours.

“Also see, Futaba-san, she’s gotten kinda thinner right?”

Eh, really?”

Now that he mentions it, I can’t say it doesn’t seem like that. Hmm, I wonder. I’m somehow always focused towards Futaba-san’s giant breasts and ass, those tremendous entities draw in my eyes like they’ve got gravitational pull, so I never noticed if she got, thinner.

“But yeah, she’s been fighting a lot as of late... Since I met her pretty close to the beginning, it’s like I couldn’t notice because I was always together”

“That’s right, Futaba-san’s defs gotten thinner man”

Popping those Power Seeds burns intense calories, so it’s like a diet pill. There’s naturally food restrictions when it comes to dungeon life, and exercise is unavoidable.

Hmm, a little longer, and she could maybe slim down enough that even I can tell”

“Dude, Futaba-san gets slim, she’d be crazy hot right?”

“W-Who knows...”

I say these words, but who am I kidding, of course she’d be crazy hot.

I mean Futaba-san, she’s got a pretty cute face even now. And if there’s a bit less fat on her cheeks and neck, with her big round eyes, she’ll totally get that healing-type hottiebishoujo face.

And most important to consider after the volume decrease, is that awe-inspiringly great chest and butt. With her drum-like waist thinning just a bit, her ginormous jugs would garner her a gravure idol level erotic body, that’s just plain fact.

“Don’t fret, if ya ever feel like it, I got your back. Like, you guys get together, and both you and me’ll get to have some quality fun time right?”

Aha, so that’s the game. With both couples doing what couples do, we’ll both be cool with it. Certainly, only one side going woohoo in the nighttime, makes it really awkward; at worst, there might be resentment born in there too. In other words, it’s a double dating plan.

Of course, me doing lewd activities with Futaba-san, I fantasize about it, but practically never think of putting it to practice. Not just Futaba-san, for me, something like a girl is a far away existance. I mean, I’m an otaku, a virgin too. I don’t get how IRL girls think at all.

“Well, even if me and Futaba-san don’t get together, I’ll make it so we disappear sometimes so you guys can be alone together, so don’t worry about that”

Heheh, that’s wicked, Momokawa”

I mean, it’s not like I have any special feelings of attraction towards Nishiyama-san, so I won’t be getting jealous of Hirano-kun in the first place. In fact, this level of consideration is great if we want our cooperation pact to become something more solid.

If possible, I’d like to have time alone with Futaba-san as well. No, not in a lewd way, but as an ally I can trust.

“A’ight, then after we beat the Boss, I’ll take ya up on that offer”

“After we beat the Boss, and get to the next Fairy Square, sure thing”

Come that time, I hope you two can slowly enjoy your time.