The Shaman can't become a Hero
Act 5: Worst Harem Party
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Chapter 47: The Souma Harem
“So then... Hirano-kun and Nishiyama-san are...”
After Mei-chan and I were rescued by Souma Sakura and her group, we relocated to the fairy square that was, as expected, close by. There, we decided to first get our stories out.
Mei-chan was treated to the best degree possible, and though she wasn’t in any danger of dying anymore, she was still fast asleep. That being the case, we’d have to do twice the labor in talking so I decided to go first.
“A two-headed Orthrus huh. If only we were there. We could’ve beat it with without any victims...”
“It’s bygones Asuna-chan. We never chose to be all split up like this”
The ones twisting their faces in regret from learning about new deaths are, the samurai girl, Kenzaki Asuna and, our resident busty loli, Takanashi Kotori.
I bet I couldn’t even looked these total hotties in the eye if it was in our old lives. These two aren’t just pretty or cute, but like, more like, they exude this aura or presence that only really beautiful people seem to. If it were me from a while ago, my head would’ve simply gone blank, and this dialogue wouldn’t be something we could call as such.
“After that, it was just me and Mei-chan. We somehow managing to stay alive and get all the way here and... well you’ve seen the rest”
If it’s only about how much of the dungeon we’ve gone through, there isn’t much to say. The only parts Souma-san would be interested in would be about how her childhood friend, Reina A. Ayase, was acting together with Higuchi, and concerning the people who’ve died I guess. The people I’ve confirmed to be dead are: Takashima-kun, Itou-kun, and the Hirano-Nishiyama pair. There’s also the girl being eaten by a bunch of Goma I saw a while back. Still, that makes it a whole 5 people who’re no longer with us.
“I’m so glad we made it in time”
“I can’t thank you enough... Seriously, two Armor Bears would’ve been impossible for us”
“But just one should be prenty strong. I didn’t see you guys have any good weapons so, is it that Futaba-san has a powerful vocation?”
“More like, is this girl really Futaba-san?”
Takanashi-san’s question is perfectly valid. If you compare the current Mei-chan to her from back then, I bet even her parents would have trouble recognizing her without a second look.
The peacefully sleeping Mei-chan would go for a perfect role for Snow White or the Sleeping Beauty with how pretty she’s turned out lately. Hmm, looks like she got thinner again.
Could be a side-effect of Reagent X. More of those extra pounds were shed, and her muscles were toned to a point where her body line had literally zero resemblance to the previous barrel shape it used to describe. But the bust and hips still kept their same tremendous mass. Her’s was a genuine body of miracles.
But despite the super-speed diet treatment, there was no slack on her skin. This must be the grace of Blessed Body. If she ran for a beauty contests, this would be a tremendous cheat skill.
“Momokawa-kun, Futaba-san doesn’t look like she’ll wake up any time soon, so mind if we start on our side”
“Sure, that’s alright, I was just gonna ask too”
Well, there’s that thing I’m impatient to ask about... but they likely know what that is and are likely planning to tell the whole story and ease into it. Whatever the case, I need to gather info before making any sort of decision. I’ll hear them out.
“After getting thrown into this alternate world, we quickly recieved our Vocations and started our own journey into the dungeon—”
Completely unlike my pathetic attempts at fighting my way through this hell, Souma-san’s time in the dungeon went so smooth, it was like she was a player in an RPG. And why wouldn’t it be? After all, she got to join up with her brother, Souma Yuuto, right at the early game.
“A Hero... So there really is a vocation like that”
“Yes, I happen to be a Saintess, and Asuna is a Dualwielder so there is probably other specialized vocations out there too”
I got a slight migrane hearing all these clearly over-powered vocation names. This is that so called social disparity isn’t it? Seems like even in another world, the distance between an average Joe like me and utter geniuses like the Souma siblings is greater than Heaven and Earth.
“But I think nii-san’s Hero is a special case in an of itself”
“Yeah, it’s hard to admit, but Souma’s strength is at a whole new level. If he wasn’t there, we could’ve gotten victims in that Cerberus fight”
“Souma-kun’s totally amazing you know, he beat that Cerberus all by himself!”
Cerberus as in... pretty much the higher form of the Orthrus that took us everything to defeat. Apparently, it was much bigger too. And worse, it was firing out flamethrowers all the time, so there must be a wide difference in power too. And it’s no doubt a much stronger monster than any Armor Bear.
And to cut down that absolute monster of a monster all by himself, yeah, it’s no joke or nothing, Souma Yuuto literally is rightful holder of the title of Hero.
“So why isn’t Souma-kun with you guys now?”
Souma-san and the others seemed to have come to this fairy square by warping from the boss room after beating the Cerberus. They beat the boss no problem, so it’s strange that Souma-kun isn’t here.
“That is... right before teleporting, we ran into some trouble”
“Eh? Trouble? You mean there was still monsters in the boss room after you beat the boss?”
“No, not monsters, people”
Souma-san hangs her head with a dark expression while Kenzaki-san knits her thin eyebrows in frustration.
“Don’t tell me,”
“That’s right, it was a group of boys from our class—”
They used the core from the Cerberus to invoke the warp, and right then, three boys from class entered the boss room. Ueda, Nakai, and Shimokawa, nicknamed the totem-pole trio, they took position as Higuchi’s lackeys. They weren’t punks on the level of their boss, but they weren’t exactly people you’d nominate as good samaritans. They didn’t have the guts to dye their hair, but always waxed it to tremendous shine. In short, they’re a bunch of half-assed delinquents going to a prep school of all things.[1]
(TN: The 3 ppl named in order have the kanji for top 上, middle 中, bottom 下 in their names, so they’re the 上中下 trio, which I paraphrased as totem-pole trio. Also, as some folks may see dyeing your hair as a regular part of life, japs seem to consider it in a bad light. )
“Hell YEAAH, do it, bro!”
“Gotcha— Aqua Bind!”
One of the three, Shimokawa, made his blue wand glow, and shot out a slender whip of water. Like a snake chasing prey, it serpented through the air latching onto Takanashi-san who was standing inside the transfer circle.
“Takanashi-san!”
“Kotori!”
Souma-kun and Kenzaki-san were the first to react and reach out for her. But by then, Takanashi-san had already been whisked away by the water whip.
“Sick!! Got me a Kotori-chan guys!”
“Oi, you gotta get Sakura-chan, dickhead!”
“Get Kenzaki too yo!”
“Shut it fags, we only got one try at this, so I pick my fav, duh!”[2]
(TN: I’d like to apologize if these guys sound too wierd, I don’t really interact with media (or in reality) with individuals having this sort of disposition. Also, and I’m making an educated guess here, from the last three dialogues, who is who? Obviously, the last one is Shimokawa who used the water magic, he likes lolis I guess. but the other two? Well, if you look at the attendance record, it has Ueda listed in the Archery club. Why would this DQN be in the Archery club? It’s obviously explained in chapter 1, how ppl joined to breath in the air let out by Souma Sakura. So the one asking for Sakura is Ueda. That mean’s Nakai’s waifu is Kenzaki, wew lad. Anyway, I think there’s another joke in there with their names, how Shimokawa → bottom, likes the small loli. I don’t know about the others. )
They kind of started making a fuss, while Takanashi-san was kidnapped over to their side.
“Those three had eyes filthy in desire. I don’t even want to think what they’d do to Kotori”
“Uu, it was soo horrible...”
Her small body shivers as Takanashi-san snuggles close to Kenzaki-san.
“I could imagine it was this bizarre situation we’re in that turned them mad”
“Well, that and the power frenzy from their vocations should be factored in there too”
Three guys risking life and limb in the dungeon, and when they finally find their colleagues, it’s a full blown Souma Harem... Yeah, I can’t say I don’t understand their impulse to attack. But seriously, how retarded do you have to be to attempt something like that. They’re either stupid beyond belief, or got high from Goma drugs. I myself would never dare to incur the wrath of Souma Yuuto, nope.
“So then, Souma-kun isn’t here because he went to save Takanashi-san and couldn’t make it for the teleport?”
“Yes, you’re exactly right. Nii-san rescued Kotori, and somehow got her back inside the circle but when...“
When he tried to get back, the trio who didn’t want to let go of their hunt got into a scurmish with him. As a result, the warp got started up and they all transferred here, leaving behind only Souma-kun.
“Sorry... It’s cause Kotori’s so easy, she got kidnapped and stuff...”
“Don’t worry about it Kotori, it’s over now”
“And I’m positive that nii-san can make it alone just fine”
Souma-kun is strong enough to crush a Cerberus by himself. So he’d have literally no issues making it in the dungeon. And it isn’t even a debate if he’ll lose to the totem-pole trio.
Plus, it’s not like he had to use the transfer circle in that boss room. In the Orthrus area, it was pretty much a one way street so we had to use the warp to get out. But in the Cerberus area, they apparently had many other paths to take that weren’t being shown by the magic compass.
And it’s very likely that the trio and the Souma party took different routes to arrive at the same boss room.
“Then, how about we keep on the move with an objective to join up with Souma-kun, how’s that sound for a plan?”
“True, we don’t have any choice other than moving forward after all”
Souma-san strongly nods. She’s obviously worried for her brother, but she she’s calm enough to not go crying about it to someone like me at least. And I wouldn’t be any help if she did either.
“I’m just making sure here... It’s alright if both of us go with you too right?”
“Of course. We aim to get together with all our classmates, and escape this dungeon with every one of us.”
“That’s great, thanks”
If I make it look like I’ll cooperate, it should be fine. Even without Souma-kun around, these girls seem pretty powerful from what I’ve been hearing. They’re at least strong enough to make an Armor Bear flee.
Souma-san the Saintess can not only use light attribute attack and defense magic, she also has the all important healing magic. Dualwielder Kenzaki-san is a pure powerhouse for our frontlines. The Sage, Takanashi-san is useless in combat, but her equipment remodelling is an amazing power in itself. The gear on these girls is obviously at a different dimension from ours.
Mei-chan wouldn’t be in this condition from some Armor Bear if she had gear that good.
“But look Sakura, you remember what happened just now. There’s obviously gonna be people who won’t cooperate with us”
Kenzaki-san’s sharp glare pierces into me. Woah there, maybe she’s... No she’s definitely suspicious.
“... Erm, I know I’m a guy too, but my vocation’s pretty weak, so even if I thought about doing something, I couldn’t do it”
“But with Kotori, it might not be impossible”
“Hiee!!”
As if some bad memories resurfaced, Takanashi-san clung even closed to Kenzaki-san. That’s fine and all, but please stop looking at me with those scared eyes.
That being said, it’s true that I can do anything to Takanashi-san by my own strength if I was up for it. Forget vocations and that crap, I may be small and weak, but there’s no way I’d lose in a match of strength against a cute little girl who’s even smaller than me. Plus, I have my Blackhair Bind and can literally restrain her like Shimokawa did.
“H-hey wait a sec, I’d never do something like that alright? I’m like everyone else here, I just want to get back to our world. So I’ll cooperate with anything you want”
“Asuna, that was a bit much I think”
“Well sorry. But after that already happened, I’ll can’t not assume the worst case. And that time, I just left Kotori to Souma but... This time, I’ll be the one protecting her”
“Asuna-chan... thank you so much”
Such charming friendship. But it’s sad that I have to face suspicion because of it. If I make myself their enemy, I’m good as dead.
“No, I know I’m not all that familiar with Souma-san or Kenzaki-san, so I can understand if you not trusting me so easily. I guess it’s natural I’ll be doubted being a guy and all, but uhm, you could look at it long-term and uh...”
“That’s right, rather than growing paranoia from both sides, if we work together for some time, I’m positive we can form mutual trust”
Mutual eh. They have the ability to forcefully remove me from their group if they want, but I can’t do the same. I’m the one who has to watch myself and show respect. Honestly, that’s pretty mentally straining, and it’ll be an environment where stress builds up... But that’s still alright. I’ll walk the fate of one boasting the title of weakest, of the Shaman.
“Also, Momokawa-kun, I need a bit of a favor from you too”
“Sure, what is it?”
I look to be asking, but I have a pretty good idea what that favor is. She wants...
“Nh...”
“Ah, Mei-chan!? You’re awake!”
From right behind me, where she’d been laid down on the soft grass, I clearly heard her leak a tiny voice. And as I suspected, though a bit out of it, Mei-chan opened her eyes.
“... Kotarou-kun, you’re safe, thank goodness”
“Yeah! It’s all thanks to you, Mei-chan, you beat that Armor Bear good”
Her gentle smiling face truly looks like a goddess incarnate. I’m almost pouring in tears from my eternal gratitude. Thank you, thank you Mei-chan.
“I’m glad, I’m really, so happy... I got to protect Kotarou-kun”
“Sorry Mei-chan, I made you go through all that. I’m sorry I couldn’t help at all”
“Not at all, don’t worry about that. Fighting is my role after all... but Kotarou-kun”
She’s sure to have some fatigue remaining. Mei-chan heavily raises her upper body and sits up.
But with sharp eyes that don’t mark a hint of weariness, she then glared at me, no, the individuals behind me.
“— Why, are those two here?”
There’s two more members in the Souma-san party that rescued us. Class 2-7’s prided Class Representative, Kisaragi Ryouko. Shiramine Academy’s track and field ace, Natsukawa Minami.
Those very same people who once left Mei-chan to die, her ex-party members so to speak.
“P-please calm down and hear me out, erm, those two, we’re kinda working together now and—”
Basically, what Souma-san was trying to request of me was about Class Rep and Natsukawa-san. She wanted me to help convince Mei-chan not to begrudge them, or practically speaking, to prevent her from going into a killing frenzy all of a sudden.
Of course, I’d have done that without her asking. Leaving aside the wrong they caused Mei-chan, losing these potential allies at this point in time is full of demerits. For safer dungeon capture from here onward, having Class Rep the Ice Mage and Natsukawa-san the Thief would be a ton of help.
There’s no way Mei-chan isn’t, even if slightly, resenting them, but right now, I gotta do something about—
“Sorry Futaba-san. I shouldn’t have decided on that back then... No, I won’t make excuses. I truly regret abandoning you from the bottom of my heart”
“Sorry, I’m so, so sorry... I couldn’t save you...”
They probably aren’t doing this for show. Class Rep and Natsukawa-san both have a grave expression, and look like they’re heartfully apologizing. These two should also have a proper sense of ethics and justice. They’re surely not cold-blooded enough to justify themselves for abandoning their classmate, saying it had to be done, and that it was that classmate’s fault to begin with. I’m sure they’ve been feeling anxiety over it too.
But that doesn’t mean the victim in all this will so easily accept their apologies.
“Mei-chan, please bear it for now. I know you have a lot to say but...”
“No, it’s fine, I’m alright Kotarou-kun”
As if having discerned something, Mei-chan’s expression softened all at once.
“Class Rep, and Natsukawa-san too, it’s fine about back then. I understand that you had no choice and had to leave me behind.”
“But we—”
“It’s fine, really. I don’t resent you at all, I actually want to thank you, in fact. I mean, it’s only because you abandoned me that... fufu, I got to meet Kotarou-kun”
A beautiful smile that stiffened my spine. What the, what’s this strange intensity. Mei-chan is undoubtedly a lovely girl right now, but like, you know, it’s because of that beauty that I feel the total bizarreness.
“I got saved by Kotarou-kun, and then caused him a lot of trouble too... but then, I finally got stronger. I’m not a useless pig anymore. I’ve become— A Knight, who will protect Kotarou-kun”
“I, I’m grateful that you’re saying that. But even if you can forgive me, I still can’t forgive myself. So for a while longer, let me atone for it please”
“M-me too! This time, you can count on me too!”
Ah, looks like Mei-chan hid the Berserker part. That’s the only reason she’d expressly name herself a Knight after all.
We can’t just trust Souma-san and the girls off the bat. So like the time we joined Hirano-kun’s duo, We’ll have to keep a few secrets.
“Man am I glad you guys made up, or reconciled I guess. If Mei-chan got mad, I’d be in a real bind”
“Geez, what do you take me for, you!”
Hahaha, we laugh as usual, and seeing that, the nervous Class Rep and Natsukawa-san also loosen up a bit.
With that, our new party’s inter-personnel problems were solved for the time being. Only on the surface though. The problem now is, how well we can actually coordinate... I’m a bit uneasy, but we’ll find that out soon enough.